Thanks for hanging with me these past couple of weeks. It looks like my story here is over. Not to say all my stories are over, just this one. I couldn't make it mainly because I was, well, for lack of a better term, misinterpreted. I'm not being self-pitying here. I'm just saying that I know for a fact I was paying attention even though, apparently, it seemed that I wasn't. You all know by now that I am very fidgety and like to mess with stuff in my hands or dance around or tap things. For example, while tapping out dents in the dent department I had to force myself to not play music with the hammer. Just one of the many quirks I have.
Ed said that I had everything but the attention span. I was punctual, obedient, didn't talk, and had the skills. The only thing I didn't have was a calm and steady body.
I honestly don't know what to do now. My family went to considerable expense to get me out here, and now the reason I came is no more.
I could get an ordinary job and figure out a way to go forward. I guess that's it. The only choice is to go forward. I tried, and I failed. Maybe it was my fault. I don't want it to be, but that's that.
Maybe Adderall would have helped. Maybe I need a diagnosis. I've heard that being unfocused and jittery and ADHD-like (which is the reason why I was let go) is what Adderall treats. The only problem is that it doesn't jive with my mental illness.
Having multiple problems that interfere with each other is no joke.
Maybe I'm just making excuses. Maybe I'm doing something wrong. But whatever the case, this part of my life, that was just beginning, is now over.
Now I have to take the next step and hopefully make the best of this.
Thanks!
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