Taller than Ever.
“Careful, Ada.” Kevin waves his arms as Ada climbs into the
trailer of a semi-truck.
“Is that really necessary?” I watch Ada get onto the trailer, causing it to
sink a few inches.
“Ada weighs over five tons.” Kevin shakes his head. “She’s a
dragon, after all. We have to take the necessary precautions. We don’t want a
steel dragon flying all over the city, after all. People would freak.”
“You said you’re the director of the CIA?” I tilt my head.
Kevin rubs his hands together. “Yeah. Been so since
oh-seven. Some crazy things have happened ever since the portals first opened.”
“I can probably imagine.” I frown. “So we’re visiting
another planet.”
“An Economopoulos called Fargo. It’s on the other side of
the Milky Way.”
“How are we going to get there?”
Kevin chuckles. “You’ll see when we get there.” He motions
to Sebastian and I. “Get in the van. We’ve got a long road trip ahead of us.”
For the next seventeen hours, I watch American roadside
scenery pass by, as the houses turn to forests and then hills and then desert.
According to Kevin, we’re headed for Area 51. Classic.
Along the way, Kevin explains a few things to me. First,
there is the fact that Jirgrar and Sebastian are technically still members of
our own species, as is Tia. Their round pupils class them as “Menucarian.” The
much more common “Precient” members of our species sport figure-eight
infinity-shaped pupils. That includes the Racorphan.
We arrive at the newly-upgraded Area 51 complex. Now that
we, the human race, understood that we weren’t alone, Area 51 became a lot more
than just a conspiracy. It was a place to house portal artifacts and various
other secrets about the portals that the government didn’t want anyone to know
about. There were probably a lot of top secret things about the portals.
When we get out of the van, Ronald steps aside and urintes
against the wheel. “Nothing better than a great piss.”
Ari smacks him on the back of the head. “Behave, Ronald.”
Ronald grins. “Yes, ma’am.”
I really don’t understand their dynamic. Ronald zips up and
then follows us towards the gates.
“Past here, there are no vehicles allowed.” Kevin steps
through the gate. “Come along.”
“First time I’ve been here.” Ronald looks around, making a
strangely happy face. “I’ve always wanted to play with some of the weapons you
boys have around here.”
“There are no major weapons depos here at Area 51.” Kevin
continues to walk. “We only contain ships here.”
“From where?” I look at the gigantic complex that is looming
over the horizon. It looks as if a city were placed upside-down, shimmering in
the desert sun.
We come to the entrance to the compound. Kevin opens the
door with his keycard. A guard nods at us as we pass. Ada’s feet send tremors
through the ground. Kevin points his chin towards a door at the end of the hallway.
We step through, back into the hot desert sun. A spaceship
is waiting for us. It’s about the size of the Millennium Falcon, shaped a bit
like the Kestrel from FTL.
Kevin holds up his hand. “I’m going to come with you as the
representative of Earth’s governments.” He takes out a key and presses a button
on it. The spaceship lowers its ramp. “This is the Eagle. Welcome
aboard. Ada here is our pilot.”
We climb on board the ship. “Fastest ship in the galaxy,
right? Going to dodge some asteroids at a low probability of survival, right?
Never tell me the odds, right?” I grin.
No one else laughs.
“Fine.” I follow Ronald and Ari on board the ship. Ronald
looks back at me and grins back, showing his perfectly white teeth.
“You’re going to have to get better at making jokes.” He turns
away and boards the ship.
Once we board, the ship’s engines turn on. We lift into the
air and shoot off towards the horizon with incredible speed. About a minute
later we’re in the stratosphere. I don’t feel any of the acceleration I
expected to feel. Soon we’re past the moon.
“Going to hyperspeed.” Ada pulls back on a lever and the
engines scream.
The visual in front of me is different than in Star Wars.
It’s as if the universe, through the glass view port, is being flushed down a
drain. The stars loop around me, the ship jerks a bit, and then everything
outside the window turns to incoherent static.
What you’re seeing is billions of years of stellar
movement compressed into a small time frame. Sage explains. When you
start going this fast relativity says you won’t be able to see anything. Back
on planet Earth, the dinosaurs are roaming.
About half a second later we decelerate.
“That’s it?” I look out the window to see a rather large
star outlined against the Milky Way.
“That’s just the beginning of the journey. The last half of
a half of a percent of distance between us and our destination is the majority
of the trip. We’ll be there in twenty-five days.”
“Days?” I sigh. “Well, at least this ship is large.” I look
around at the inside of the ship, and see Ronald staring at me, toothpick in
his mouth. He takes it out and points it at me.
“Kid. You’re new to this game, so you don’t know the rules.
While we’re taking care of humanity’s business, we’re allies. That’s the whole
point of the Silverbones.”
“I’m not going to forget what you did. I don’t even begin to
understand why you’re not rotting away in prison.” I grit my teeth. “I’m going
to be the first one to abandon you.”
Ronald grins. “I’ve taken a liking to your spirit. I still
think you’re a coward, but not as much. It takes guts to say that to me.”
I turn away. “Is there a video game system on this ship?”
I spend the rest of the trip playing Mario Kart with
Sebastian and Robin. Twenty-five Earth-days later, our ship approaches a large
planet that is covered in cities. It’s the planet we’re headed for. We fly down
into the planet’s atmosphere, passing by super-tall buildings that are ringed
with clear tubes.
“Where are the flying cars?” I look around at the city below
me.
“None here.” Ada steers us towards an open area and puts on
something that looks like a bluetooth headset with a mic. “This is Gold Kit
oh-one-oh-seven.” The headset translates the missive into another language. “Requesting
permission to land at Kanderson spaceport.”
Another language garbles through. It’s translated by a
machine attached to the Eagle’s dash. “You’re clear. Follow the
instructions.”
We land in a small cavity between two buildings. The first
thing I notice about the planet is that it’s full of aliens. Like, not
Star Trek Klingon type of aliens. Not “grey people” kind of aliens. I’m talking
aliens. There is a walking stick bug carrying two cymbals on its back
that clap when it moves. There is a floating upside-down carrot with green arms
that are undulating as it floats. There is being who appears like two angler
fish taped together, with a bulb at the top that is flickering with light like
a Christmas tree. The strangest being of all is an amalgamation of silver coins
that is, for lack of a better word, undulating, with tesla coil-like
electricity flickering in between the coins.
Ada hands me a universal translator. “You’re going to need
this. You won’t see very many of our species on this planet.”
“Okay.” I’m a bit put off by how alien everything is here.
One of the cow aliens that I saw before steps up to us. Its
legs move little by little, in a pattern that I was not expecting them to make.
Its motion reminds me a bit of Michael Jackson’s moonwalking.
“Greetings, travelers,” it says, in perfect English. Like,
English so perfect it’s a bit scary. Its tongue really is as complicated and
interesting as it was billed to be. “Have you paid the toll? Two hundred mint
will do.”
Kevin snaps his fingers. A small VR-esque patch of light
flickers between the cow and him.
The cow licks its lips, showing a shining white blade-like
appendage. “Very well. Welcome to Fargo.”
“Good.” Ada turns to me. “Let’s go.”
Me, Ada, Ari, Robin, Ronald, Sebastian, and Kevin all walk
out of the small spaceport and onto the open street. The place is crowded with
more alien aliens. There’s a green yeti with four legs who is wearing a shoe on
its head. There is a pterodactyl mixed with a frog rolling along on a scooter. A
lot of the aliens are floating on the air. In a separate tube above me, aquatic
aliens are passing along, all of them just as alien as the others. There are no
humans in rubber suits here.
“Watch your step!” Ada pulls me back. I look down at my
feet.
A small ant—literally an ant—speaks to me.
“Hello, Markus Red.” A key appears above the ant and floats
up to me. “Here. You will need this eventually. It unlocks locker seventeen at
the rest station.”
I take the key and put it in my pocket. “Okay.”
Ada whistles. “You just got contacted by a Gido.”
I frown. “Gido? That ant was a person?”
“Yes. They are a race known as the Gido. They’re the
caretakers of reality.”
“And he was an ant.”
“She, technically.” Ada shrugs. “If you want to know more,
ask your sage.”
“Sure.” I try to ignore the ridiculous aliens that are all
around me.
“We’re meeting at a seventh level park in the next
district.” Kevin checks his smartphone. “Great. We’re still on time. Oxygen is
free on this planet, so we won’t have to worry about that.”
We walk along the large boulevard. Beneath us, through the
glass, is a road filled with cars that seem suspiciously normal, considering
how alien their occupants are.
We reach a small plaza that’s floating in the sky with a lot
of waterfalls and greenery. I spot, coming towards us, the tallest person I
have ever seen in my life. She towers over the rest of the inhabitants of the
garden, though none of them even seem to be bothered by her. She approaches us
and stands over our party. My head goes up to a bit above her knee. I have to
crane my neck to see her face.
And by god, she is beautiful. Not as beautiful as Ada, but
Ada’s beauty is sort of artificial. Her eyes are oversized for her face in a
very attractive way. Her skin is clear and white, as is her hair. She has
figure-eight infinity pupils. The way she walks is a bit strange. When I look
at her feet, I see hooves made of pure steel. Her hands make Shaq’s look like
the hands of a baby. Her eyes are pink, like the color of a ghost’s.
She kneels down and looks at me. “Hello.” Her voice is
quiet, almost a whisper, a contrast to her figure. The universal translator
kicks in after each line she speaks, doubling the amount of time it takes for
her to say things. “My name is Snow. I’m a racorphan.”
“Are you our species?” I still have to look up at her even
though she is bent down.
Snow speaks into her translator first. Her language sounds a
bit like German. “Yes, I am. We’re sexually compatible, if that is what you
wanted to know.”
“Um, yeah. I guess that’s what being the same species
means.” I blink a few times. “Are you the person we’re supposed to be meeting?”
“Of course.” The girl stands back up.
“She’s fifteen foot three.” Kevin sits down on a small metal
bench. “And she’ll be traveling with us for a while.”
Ronald whistles. “Don’t think I’d want to try her in a
fight.”
I do my best to grin. “You’ve got that right.”
“Come with me.” Snow turns.
We follow her.
3
***
