The Lesser One Arc 2 Version 2 Chapter 27: Etiquette

 

Etiquette

We all collapse to the ground as one. I breathe heavily, feeling as if a huge pressure has been lifted from my chest. Mandrake turns to me. “You …”

Ari puts her hand on Mandrake’s shoulder. “He made the decision to protect us all. If he hadn’t agreed, he would have killed the non-Sillverbones and sent us two into …” Ari looks at me. “That place.”

Mandrake stands up. “My god.” He holds his hands to his head. “Something bad is going to happen. I can feel it. I can feel it in my bones.”

“We’re safe right now and London is safe.” Ari pats Mandrake’s back.

Esla looks confused. “That was it? He just wanted to wake up that girl Markus is interested in?”

“Which would be a very bad idea if you knew what really happened to her.” Mandrake grits his teeth.

“Then tell me!” I am yelling at this point. “Shut it with the vague hints and tell me exactly why I shouldn’t wake up Alice!”

“Because the world will end! Billions of people will die!”

“How the hell does the coma of one girl from England doom the entire human race?”

“That’s it!” Mandrake is also yelling. “I can’t tell you! I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!”

“So I need to collect the votes.”

“Of which you need four more.” Ari steps in between Mandrake and I.

“Four?” I am a bit confused. “I just got Deeve’s vote, but …”

Ari snaps her fan open. “You also have my vote. I was impressed by your riddling ability. I didn’t think you’d be the one to stump the monster.” Ari turns to Mandrake. “Now shut it. We can discuss this when we’re out of here.”

Boots hit the ground. A squad of SAS paratroopers rushes into the room. They level their guns, spreading out.

The leader walks in. “Mandrake.” He approaches Mandrake. “You’re here. What happened to the boss? All the evil clowns just disappeared at once.”

“We defeated him. In a sense.” Mandrake looks at me. “I’ll take care of all the paperwork and yelling at officers.” He waves his hand. “Sebastian, Tia, Markus, Esla. You can leave.” He turns away.  

Ari waves at me with her fingers in a very British fashion.

Sebastian looks at me, I nod, and we just walk right out of there. We arrive at the limo no worse for the wear. After stepping in, everyone is silent.

“So what the hell was that all about?” Esla looks at me. “Alice is the key in some grand conspiracy to end the world?”

I shrug. “You heard him. Mandrake can’t tell me jack because it will break some law of that secret organization.”

“Yeah, I get how frustrating that is. Because, you know, you’re doing the same thing to me.” Esla folds her arms.

I blink a few times. “Well …” I sigh. “You know what? I think I can tell you now that you’re personally involved. But please keep a lid on this. No one at Ixtham should know about this.” I lay my hands down. “Ask you god hand this. Protect me from words that would harm my mind.”

Esla lifts her hand. “Protect me from words that would harm my mind.” Her hand flashes. She rubs her temples. “Okay? Now what?”

I explain everything, including everything I know about the Silverbones. The golden had seems to have done its job and protected her from the memetic hazard. When I am finished, Esla is silent.

“Okay. I get it now. The whole story is beyond my comprehension, but I know that it really happened. Now you need four more votes.”

“Right.” I turn to Sebastian. “Do you have anything to add?”

“No.” Sebastian keeps his eyes on the road. “You did a good job. I support your decision.”

Esla sighs. “Man, I wish I had the ability to create anything.”

“You have something similar.” I point to her god hand. “We still don’t know much about that.”

Esla takes the glove off of her bionic hand. Its surface is matte black metal that has otherworldly highlights. The hand appears to exude power.

“Can I?” I reach for Esla’s hand. When I touch it, it is warm, like actual flesh.

Esla lets me hold it for a bit. Then she turns away. “That’s enough.”

I pull my hands back. “Yeah. Anyways, that’s really cool.”

“Yeah.”

Silence hovers over the limo. We eventually reach the Esmex building and step out into the foggy air. When we enter, everything appears normal. Tia splits from us to go to the café.

“Oh, Sebastian.” Esla taps him on the shoulder. “I want your opinion on something. I heard you’re really good with fashion.”

“Yes, I am.” Sebastian glances at me with worry.

“Don’t worry.” I shrug. “You have this place on lockdown, don’t you?”

Sebastian sighs. “Very well. Go straight to your room and don’t come out until I get back.”

I nod and walk to the elevators. While I wait, I tap my foot. A very pretty woman of about forty steps up beside me.

We get into the same elevator.

She taps her feet. “Thirty-eight.”

“Hey, I’m going to the same floor!”

We stand in silence as the elevator rises.

The lights go out. The elevator stops. I can’t see anything, not even my hand in front of my face.

“Hello, Markus.” The woman who got onto the elevator with me speaks. “My name is Generica. You may already know of me. I wish to make a request of you.”

“Um, okay.” I press up against the wall for stability. “What do you need?”

“I need you to find me a very special kind of material.”

“Um, okay?”

“And I need it to be registered and obtained legally.”

“Okay? What is it?”

“Antimatter.”

I exhale. “Okay. You want me to somehow obtain legal antimatter?”

“I’m sure you can handle it.” A piece of paper—a business card—slips into my hand. “Contact me here when you obtain it.”

The lights flicker back on and Generica is gone. All that is left is the scent of strawberries. I look at the business card.

Need someone killed? Intimidated? Generic support services can do it! Call XXX-XXX-XXXX for a free quote!

The card really doesn’t match the chic woman who just spoke to me. It’s got a cutesy border and a smiling emoji on the back. I pocket the card. When the elevator stops, I step out into the hallway and then return to my apartment. I sit down on the couch and let out a deep breath. Looking at the card again, I think about how strange my life has become in the last few months. I then slip the card into my pocket. “Legal.” I sigh, leaning back. “How the hell am I supposed to obtain legal antimatter?”

Sage: She means to test you. You are going to need political skill and knowhow if you’re going to continue on this track.

So she wants me to get that legal antimatter to prove that I can finangle the law?

Exactly. I can feel Sage’s smugness. I think it’s time for a certain lawfirm named after a waterfowl to intervene.

I take the battered business card for Stevens, Mallard, and Duck from my wallet. “Okay. Here goes.” I dial the number.

“Markus.” It’s Lacy. “It’s been a while. With all the action you’ve been in, it’s strange you haven’t had any legal trouble. What can I do for you?”

“I need some help, well, procuring a certain material.”

“Tell me.”

“I need antimatter, and I need it to be legal.”

“That’s not a simple matter.” Lacy’s tone is purely professional. “I can think of one way, though, to get you what you need. You’re friends with Dr. Glen Barrimore, correct?”

“I am.”

“Then it’s just a matter of getting him to forward a study utilizing antimatter. If he puts it through the same channels through which other scientist study illegal substances, gets it passed by an ethics board, and various other legal bodies, then you can have you antimatter in, say, two to five years.”

“Two to five years? That’s way, way too long!”

“Then I have one other suggestion. Do you mind if we talk about this in person? I’ll be charging you, of course.”

“Great, great. Charge whatever you want, you can deal with my people about that.”

Sebastian knocks at the door.

“Front of the Esmex building, five o’clock?”

“Sure thing.”

Lacy hangs up. I walk to the door and open it.

Sebastian appears worried. “I felt a disturbance. What happened?”

I explain everything to Sebastian. He shakes his head. “I know I shouldn’t have left you alone.”

“Come on, it was ten minutes. She didn’t even try to touch me.”

Sebastian sighs. “Okay. Just be more careful about who you associate with in the meantime.”

“I didn’t—” I pause. “Okay. Yes. I’ll be more careful from now on.”

“Five, right?” Sebastian checks his watch. “That leaves us about an hour. I want to drill you in manners. It’s been a while since you’ve learned, and you’re probably going to a fancy restaurant.”

“Do lawyers do that kind of thing?”

“For their high value clients, yes.”

“How much?” I grimace.

“Three hundred and fifty pounds per hour. Plus surcharges.”

“Nice.” I sigh. “Well, I can afford it. It’s a good place to put all that money.” I frown. “I have something I need to ask of you. I want to get a good look at exactly how my financials stand.”

“Good, good.” Sebastian smiles. “It’s a good sign that you’ve taken an interest in such things.”

We go into the dining room. Sebastian sets up a table. “We’re going to pretend this is a conversation over a nice dinner. You’re asking about our financials.”

“Okay.” I take the salad fork. “Sir, what is my estimated net worth?”

“Good.” Sebastian folds his hands. “In short, you’re worth about twenty million US dollars. That, however, is constantly growing.”

“How did I get all that money?”

“Mostly from arbitrage and high frequency trading.”

“What’s arbitrage?”

“Buy low, sell high, but at a very quick pace.”

“Okay. What kind of companies am I invested in?”

“You’re diversified over a large number of stocks and commodities.”

I take my next utensil. “Then who’s my financial advisor?”

“I am.” Sebastian bows. “Good. However, you must remember that you are not the star of the show in most dinners you’ll go to. Here’s a good rule: two to one. You ask two questions, and then you switch the focus to the other party. Ask them something about themselves. Or what they’re interested in. Anything to make it seem like you’re not just there to mine information and connections.”

“I understand. Okay, Sebastian. Do you have any siblings?”

“Devils are born through a complicated process involving pure aether in the pits of lawhell. All devils are my siblings, but I do not have any close relatives like a human would.”

There is a knock at the door.

Sebastian bows. “Looks like Tia is here. She can teach you the finer aspects of dealing with high class women.”

I get up and go to the door, opening it for Tia.

Tia walks in. “I heard you were practicing culture.”

“Yeah.” I motion.

“Take my coat.” Tia winks.

I take her coat and hang it on the rack next to the door.

“Now pull up my chair.”

I pull up Tia’s chair.

Tia sits. We begin another round of etiquette training.