I wanted to be a mathematician.

If I were to be reborn into another life, I would want to be a mathematician. It's much too difficult for me at this point--I've never been the best at math--but I can see, past the things you learn in school, that there are some crazy beautiful mathematical paradigms that only open themselves to the people who deal with its highest levels.

I suppose I realize that it takes intensive work to become a Ph.D in math. And in this life I'm just not suited for it. 

I want to see the beautiful things that can only be seen by those with deep understanding of the field. The way I see it, math is like art in how it can manifest in amazing ways. You just have to look at a picture of a fractal or any video game to realize what math can do. 

Like I said, in this life I don't have the brain power to become a mathematician, let alone one who breaks new ground. But sometimes I wish that I was born with a bit more analytical ability or the conscientiousness to put in the huge amount of study required for such a path. 

In this life my wish is to become a professional author. In the next, I want to become a mathematician. 

I have this notion, I don't know where I got it, that when you die, before you are reincarnated or go to heaven or whatever, you get a set amount of points to spend on your next life. You can choose where those points go, be it intelligence, attractiveness, wisdom, or strength. In my next life I would dump all my points into what it takes to be either a professional mathematician or professional Go player. 

Go is, as far as I can tell, the perfect game. And, I've learned, playing it is somewhat similar to working with higher level mathematics. 

Either a pro mathematician or a pro go player. That's what I would have chosen for myself if I had the option. 

But this life is doing fine for me. I don't really dislike it, and I think I'm going to do well with it. 

I think everyone wishes to be something they can't. At this point my path is set for me and I have to take it. But sometimes, I can dream about this kind of thing.