The Alchemist Chapter 29

 

Chapter 29

I had the ingredients ten minutes later. Sodium thiopental. I had to look up its composition and how to make it with my smartphone, but with my alchemy powers I had a laboratory in my body to do all the hard work. It took three tries, but then I had it. I formulated a syringe from ambient materials and injected the assassin.

The assassin didn’t struggle. He appeared to not believe that my “potion” would make him talk. I knew better than that. This wasn’t magic. This was science.  

“Ah, you chose sodium thiopental out of all the options,” said the Oracle.

“The painting speaks,” said the assassin.

I knocked him on the head with my knuckles. “And you will soon,” I said.

Rachel chuckled. “I’m not a believer in whatever it is you’re doing,” she said, “But I’m willing to watch.”

The assassin’s eyes glazed over.

“Who are you working for?” I asked.

The assassin shook his head. “No, I can’t,” he said.

I sighed. “Give it five more minutes,” I said. I turned around and looked for something to drink. There was a small flask on the nightstand. I reached over, grabbed it, and coughed upon taking a sip.

“What’s this?” I said.

Rachel looked a bit embarrassed. “I brought you some high quality whisky,” she said. “The academics I know seem to think it’s a great inspirational drink.”

I sighed. “I’m sorry, I don’t do alcohol.”

Rachel frowned. “That’s good whiskey. You wouldn’t want it to go to waste.”

I took the bottle and examined it. “I suppose we can use it somehow,” I said. I walked up to the assassin and made him drink the entire flask. “I heard alcohol also loosens the tongue,” I said.

Rachel sighed. “That was expensive.”

I shrugged. “Money’s not an object for me.”

Rachel rolled her eyes. “You could have at least appreciated it as a present.”

There was a knock on the door. Rachel opened it, revealing Claude. I waved.

“Hey,” I said. “You came here fast.”

“I was close,” said Claude. She looked at the assassin. “He’s not a member of the assassin’s guild,” she said.

“And how do you know that?” I said.

“Just a hunch,” said Claude.

“Well, we can test that hunch now,” I said. I turned to the assassin. “Who hired you?”

The assassin let his head go limp. “Parchment,” he said. “They hate you. The market is in shambles.”

“I can see how they would hate me,” I said, “But why did they try to kill me?”

“You are dangerous,” said the assassin. “A child of Meliapolis. You are going to do damage to our world like no other.” The assassin coughed.

“We’re going to turn you in to the authorities,” I said. I turned to Rachel.

She crossed her arms. “Not before we get more information out of him,” she said. “Now that I know your potion works, all we have to do is ask.” She looked at the assassin. “What organization are you a part of?”

“Freelancer,” said the assassin. “I work for myself.”

“Well, that’s better than I had hoped,” said Rachel. “If you got on the wrong side of the assassin’s guild, they would not stop until you were dead.”

“The parchment makers’ guild couldn’t convince the assassin’s guild to kill you,” said the assassin. “You’re valuable to them. You have the protection of the dragons and the gods.”

“How do you know about the dragons?” I said.

“I was told,” said the assassin. He coughed. “I do not know the source.”

I sighed. “Okay. We’re going to turn you in.” I looked at Rachel. “How do they punish attempted assassins?”

Rachel frowned. “If they were part of the guild, they would probably get away free. From the government, that is. Their punishment from the guild, on the other hand …” Rachel paused. “But he’s not part. He can be charged under the court of law.”

“Then let’s call the police,” I said. “Er, whatever you have here that enforces the law.”

“I’ll get a constable,” said Rachel. She looked at Claude. “Keep him safe while I do.”

Claude leaned against a wall. “Of course.”

Rachel left the room.

“Are more people going to come after me?” I said.

Claude crossed her arms. “We are going to need to further your protection from the crown,” she said. “You already have their blessing, but with how valuable you are, you’re probably going to get many kidnapping and assassination attempts.”

“So I’m no longer safe,” I said.

Claude shook her head. “The crown will send bodyguards,” she said. “But I want to help you. I will swear myself to you for as long as you need me.”

“Why?” I said. “I’m just normal person. Not royalty.”

“You are nowhere near normal,” said Claude. “You have mana spilling out of you like a volcano. Your powers are almost limitless. Plus, you carry the information from a civilization much more advanced than ours. You’re a walking fortune.”

I sighed. “And the dragons,” I said. “What about them?”

“I don’t know what you were talking about,” said Claude.

“I got recruited by the dragons to end the practice of dragon hunting,” I said. “And in the process I gained their protection. Several dragons now consider me part of their hoard.”

Claude whistled. “I’ve heard of bipedal beings being considered living treasures by the dragons,” she said, “But I’ve never met one.”

I shrugged. “I guess it’s just another layer of security.”

“Uhh,” said the assassin.

Claude put her boot on the assassin’s chest. “And this idiot,” she said, “Will pay for his crimes.”

The Oracle spoke up. “I say you experiment on him,” she said. “Let’s see how far your powers go on organic beings.”

“No,” I said. “If I wanted to experiment with organics, I would use livestock. My mission does not include harming people.”

“He tried to kill you.”

“And we’re turning him in to the authorities,” I said. “That’s enough, isn’t it?”

“He’s going to be hanged, most certainly,” said the Oracle.

Claude peered at the laptop that contained the Oracle. “What in the blazes is this?” she said.

“Who, you mean,” said the Oracle. “I am a proud artificial intelligence. I can crunch more numbers than you can imagine, and I have a facsimile of human emotion.”

Claude walked around the night stand holding the Oracle. “Artificial?” Claude said.

“This is a computer,” I said, to Claude. “Like I talked about. It can run video games and word processors and everything in between.”

“Video games?” said Claude. She paused. “No, not now. We need to be vigilant. This assassin may have friends.” She turned to the assassin, who was about to lose consciousness.

“I think we’ve learned everything,” I said. “I guess I’m lucky they didn’t send a guild assassin.”

“Very,” said Claude. She bent down to the man. “Your name.”

“Beel,” said the man. “Beel James.”

“Sorry, Beel,” said Claude, “But you’re probably going to be hanged within the week. Say your prayers so that you will not meet a vengeful god.”

Rachel returned to the room, two constables in tow. They both took one look at the assassin and sighed. “Ay, mate,” said one. “You’re coming with us.”

The two of them picked up the assassin and brought him out of the room.

I looked at Claude. “You said something about being my bodyguard,” I said.

“The Guardians don’t have much work at the moment,” said Claude. “The demon king is, for now, biding his time before his next attack. Thus, I have time to spend. I will not require payment. You’ve already done enough for us.”

“What about the rest of the Guardians?” I said.

“They’re all off doing their own things,” said Claude. “Itrim, especially, is enjoying his time off.”

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll accept your offer. Considering tonight, I think it would be good to have someone with me.”

“I will be rooming in the bedroom adjacent to yours,” said Claude.

“I think I’ll be able to install an alarm system,” I said. “Because, this time, the assassin came in through the window.”

“Until you get that working reliably,” said Claude, “We’re going to bar the windows. Also, I’ll be with you wherever you go.”

“That sounds reasonable,” I said. I paused. “All the time?”

“Reasonably, yes,” said Claude. “I’ve worked this kind of job before. You’d be surprised at how ingenious the assassins’ guild is.”

“But he’s not part of the guild,” I said.

“We can’t be too careful,” said Claude. She turned away. “I’ll be in the other room. I sleep light.” She left the room and closed the door behind her.

“Spunky girl,” said the Oracle.

“Shut up,” I said.

“Ahaha,” said the Oracle. The computer returned to desktop. I sat down in front of it and looked through the icons on the screen. There was no internet connection, and no games. It was a bare bones install. Too bad, because I had wanted to play some video games. I shut the laptop and fed it power for about half an hour, before I returned to bed.

The next morning I woke up feeling strangely refreshed. I got out of bed and walked to the door. Upon opening, I saw Claude leaning against the wall.

“Are you ready?” she said.

“Um, yeah,” I said. “Just let me brush my teeth.”

“Teeth?” said Claude. “Why would you sweep them?”

“Brush,” I said. “It keeps the cavities away.”

“My teeth are protected by an enchantment,” said Claude. “But, um, I suppose most peoples’ teeth aren’t.”

“We’d probably make a fortune selling toothbrushes,” I said.

“Another one,” said Claude. “Come on. Let’s get to work.”

We went downstairs into the shop and I spent the day working to improve the quality of the playing cards. By the end of the day we had a full deck of prototypes.

“How are we going to market these?” I asked.

“Market?” said Rachel. “We were planning on just heading to the town center.”

“I think we’re going to need a bigger campaign for this,” I said. “Marketing. I don’t think you guys know about this, but it takes a lot of effort to make people aware of a new product. If they don’t know what it is, they won’t buy it.”

“So what are you suggesting?” said Rachel.

“We show some noblemen how to play,” I said. “Some famous noblemen. Who set trends.”

“Oh, you mean, like how townspeople imitate the king’s wardrobe?”

“Exactly,” I said. “Think about how popular our cards would be if the king himself played using them?”

“That’s a good idea,” said Rachel. “Sadly, I have no connections among the nobility.”

Claude stepped forward. “I can handle this,” she said. “Give me a deck of cards and teach me how to play a few games. I can head to Baron Weelhouse’s estate and get him to play.”

“Good,” I said. “That will help tremendously.”

We spent about a day teaching Claude various games involving playing cards, and then sent her on her way.

“I hope this works,” said Rachel. “I wouldn’t want to look a fool.”

“The product is good,” I said. “That’s all that matters.”

Rachel sighed, sitting down for the first time in hours. She rubbed her legs. “I agree,” she said. “But you can never predict what a nobleman will do. They might even force us to give up the rights to sell the cards.”

“We can fight that,” I said. “And even if they do steal from us, it’s not that big of a loss.”

“It’s a huge loss!” said Rachel. “The market for these playing cards is huge. There’s millions of cris on the line.”

“Okay,” I said. “I understand. I’ll work to keep that from happening.”

“I hope you do,” said Rachel.

I smiled. “Trust me.”