Day Nine: Straddling the Fence

Ed, the director of the repair school I attend, has said to me personally that he is on the fence about keeping me past the five-week probation period, and he is leaning towards dropping me. This is not an easy thing to hear.

It is not that I am bad at doing the job, just that I have a few mannerisms that may need work and effort to change. For one, I have been so sleepy in the mornings that I can barely stand. I blame this on my medication, but who knows?

Second, I am twitchy and like fiddling with things even while I am paying attention. For understandable reasons this has been interpreted to mean that I am not paying attention. It seems that the more conservative people out there don't really have any allowances in their work ideology for, well, a little bit of jostling and fiddling. Tapping on the table, poking holes in the cardboard on the bench (it's meant to take a beating.) Though I am trying now to get rid of those habits, the fact is that I have always done things like that. Not doing things like that makes me physically uncomfortable.

I can try harder, and that's what I will do, but I really don't know what I am going to do if I get ejected from the program. All the effort that everyone has put in will go to waste. I don't want that.

There are alternatives to the band repair school I am attending. If I fail here, my next mission will be finding a school that suits me better.

I just hope that it doesn't come to that.

Today was my last day at reeds during probation. For the next two days, I'll be buffing things in the buffing room, and then I'll go on to soldering. I hope that this environment will suit me better, or at least facilitate the change I am trying to achieve.

Today I saw a cool sign for a meat house while walking. It's a pig with the word "meats" melted into its body. Pretty cool!

See that? Meats!

Anyways, I'll see you guys later.