I was an assassin, I had to take my vacation days! Chapter 1: Nerd

 A note on the title. Japanese Light Novels customarily have long and detailed titles. This book's title is made to emulate that.

Nerd

“Mark. Check. Yes, that’s the target.” Engle centered his scope on the shadowy figure seven hundred meters away. His rifle, a SPRAT Witner 250, was coated in light absorbing black micro-paint that made it appear to be a singularity. The scope shimmered. Engle’s finger applied pressure to the trigger. He breathed out.

The shot made no noise. The rain continued to fall. The bullet slipped through the air, spinning as it dropped. Glass shattered and the target’s chest opened up, spraying blood over the tile. He collapsed. Silence weighed over the city.

Engle slipped his gun out of the firing position and packed it into its case with an emotionless face. He lifted the case up and dropped a small device onto the floor. Leaving the hotel room, he closed the door, and then clicked a button on his wrist. Light shimmered.

Engle took the elevator to the ground floor. He walked past a few harried businessmen before he found his getaway car. The window rolled down and a beautiful woman wearing sunglasses leaned her elbow on the sill.

“You want to go to dinner?”

“I told you I don’t eat after a job.”

“Ah.” The woman lifted up her sunglasses. “You’re a strange one, that’s for sure.”

Engle sighed. “Amy. Just get me back to base.” He climbed into the passenger seat.

The car took off at an amazing speed, burning rubber around the next corner. Engle picked up a small stress ball and palpitated it. He leaned into the car’s violent motion.

“You got him, right?” Amy twisted the wheel.

“Yes.”

“Then why do you seem so melancholy?”

Engle looked out the window. “I don’t get it myself.” He held out his hand. “Wait. Stop.”

The car skidded to a stop. Amy tapped her fingers on the wheel. “What?”

Engle got out of the car. He approached a small cardboard box on the side of the road. A couple of mews came from inside. Engle leaned over it and lifted the cover. Three small kittens looked up at him.

Engle lifted them up in a bundle and carried them back to the car. He placed them in the backseat before closing the door.

Amy appeared perplexed. “What did you do that for? Are you going to keep them?”

“I know someone.”

“How did you know they would be there?”

“I saw them.”

Amy chuckled. “You have good eyesight.”

“I’m a sniper.”

Amy shrugged. “Okay then.” She handed Engle a card. “Here. I was supposed to give this to you. Boss says that you need to start taking your vacation days. You’ve been doing this job for, what, twenty years and you haven’t had a single day off?”

“Tell him that I don’t need to.”

Amy sighed. “You can take it up with him, but the thing is that the government doesn’t like when employees don’t take their vacation days. Even assassins need time off.”

Engle sighed, tapping his fingers—a habit he went through whenever he wanted a smoke. He had quit many years before. He rubbed his chin. “Okay.”

“Good. Boss told me to slap some sense into you if you refused.”

Engle closed his eyes and leaned back. “Wake me when we get there.”

Thirty minutes later Engle was standing outside the office, with a box of kittens in his right hand. He had returned his weaponry and gadgets and now appeared to be a normal businessman. Two weeks. He had fourteen days to kill. It was the first time in decades that he had obtained so much free time. Even during school he had always been focused on shooting practice. He was not the kind of person to have nothing to do. He walked down the street, feeling aimless.

Well, I should find these guys a home.

Engle walked down to the video game store on the corner of Albern and Courtnail. It was a holdover from the days when physical media was still in use. The owner, a persnickety fellow named Andrew, was the contact Engle was talking about, a person who would accept the cats and find them a good home. Animal shelters would probably euthanize them.

Engle opened the door.

“Engle, you cockeyed bastard!” Andrew’s face held a huge grin. “I haven’t seen you in years, it feels like!”

Engle sighed. “It’s been a month.” He placed the kitten box on the counter. “Same as always. Find a home for these guys.”

“You always have a knack of picking up things that other people have abandoned.”

Engle sat down on a small chair. “Well, yeah. I have a question. What do you do during your time off?”

“What this talk about time off? You’re a workaholic. You haven’t had time off in decades.”

Engle rubbed his neck. “Well, now I suddenly find myself with two weeks of nothing.”

Andrew pulled an old-looking console from under the counter. “It’s times like these that New World Online was built for.” He slapped a game cartridge down next to it.

“New World Online?”

“N.W.O.” Andrew snapped his fingers. “I’ll give this BLANK-ET to you for forty bucks. Ten for the game.”

“Um, sure.” Engle stood up. “I’ll take it, I guess.”

“It’s an old game. Created before the AI Bill. This thing has a mind of its own.”

“AI? You mean this game has an AI in it?”

“Well, no one has ever been able to prove it, but yeah. That’s the rumor.”

Engle shrugged. “I’ll take it.” He paid, grabbed up the equipment, rubbed the baby cats’ fur one more time, and then left the video game shop. When he got home he hooked the machine up, installed a few updates, and then slipped the VR headset onto his head. He was in a sitting position on his couch.

The game booted up. Engle stood on the edge of a cliff overlooking a grand valley with a gorgeous city in its center.

[Welcome to New World Online!]

Engle waited a few moments and a stat window appeared in front of him.

[Choose your class]

[Fighter]

[Wizard]

[Warlock]

[Bard]

[Rogue]

[Ranger]

Engle thought for a moment. He had been exposed to games like this a few times, but those times were in his distant memory. He only vaguely recollected what each class meant.

“I understand you are having a hard time.” A beautiful, semi-transparent woman stepped out from between two trees.

“Who are you?” Engle took a step back.

“I am NWO’s assistance toolbox.”

“So you’re here to help me?”

“Yes. I am here to make sure your playing experience is as smooth and enjoyable as possible.”

Engle sighed. “Then tell me. What class should I choose?”

“I have been programmed to tell you to go with your heart. It seems the developers thought that to be charming.”

“You have an opinion on the choices your developers made?”

The Toolbox gave a simple smile. “Very well then. Open—” The world appeared to glitch for a moment.

[Security bypass.]

[Loading dev toolkit]

[Success. 200000 Elder Coins deposited in _VOID_’s coin purse.]

The Toolbox appeared strained, and flickered in and out of existence a few times. Then she returned to being solid. “Please don’t tell anyone that happened.”

“What are Elder Coins?”

“Premium currency. Would you like to purchase ten Elder Coins for just nineteen-ninety-nine? Take advantage of our new player special!”

Engle blinked a few times. “Okay. I get it.” He looked at the hovering menu screen. “Ranger.”

[You have chosen the class “Ranger!” Would you like to claim a username?]

Engle shrugged. “Sure.”

[Enter your username.]

The Toolbox remained standing next to Engle, silent. Engle typed the first name that came to his mind into the terminal floating in front of him.

[Witner. Name is valid.]

Engle chuckled. Apparently there weren’t that many gun buffs who played this game.

A cone of magic surrounded Engle and warped him through the sky, taking him across a huge landscape. He flew for a few minutes and then landed in a small town in the middle of a lush valley.

[Welcome to Nevalia.]

Toolbox appeared next to him in a blink of light. “Would you like to undergo the tutorial?”

Engle nodded. “Yes, please. Educate me. I am not very familiar with games.”

Toolbox bowed. “Very well then. I will—”

A player with the name Bandrix ran up to Engle. “Hey, man! You’re new here! Want to buy some Dangles? They’re top quality!”

A female player who was sitting on a bench on the other side of the road called out. “Stop wasting his time.” She stood up. The name above her head was displayed as “Laz.” She approached Engle. “Witner. You’re new to this game. I can tell. Probably you’re new to MMOs in general. Let me give you some advice. Leave this town now if you want to have a chance at solving it.”

“Solving it?” Engle tilted his head. “I was not aware that there was something to solve.”

Laz pursed her lips. “This game has an open secret. The developers left a series of Easter Eggs behind that lead to the game’s core. Legend has it that a very powerful AI is inside of this game somewhere, and if someone releases it, they’ll have full control over its functions. Since the AI was built before the AI Bill, it’s totally legal. That means that the person who unlocks it will have absolute power.”

Engle blinked a few times. “So people are trying to find it?”

“Well, that’s the thing. No one has made any progress in the three decades since this game was released.”

Engle had a sneaking suspicion that he was going to get tied up in something bigger than he had expected.

Laz patted her chest. “Join my party. I can help you powerlevel and give you pointers on how to stat your build.”

“Stat my …”

Laz made a face. “Wow. You really are clueless. Statting a build is how you optimize which ability scores you pump points into.”

“Okay.” If this were real life, Engle would have had no trust whatsoever until he had run a thorough background check. But this, this was just a game. Perhaps not knowing the people he was going to get involved with would add a bit of spice to his vacation. Engle and Laz shook hands.

“Open your menu.” Laz made a motion with her arm.

Engle repeated the motion.

[Menu.]

[Skills]

[Items]

[Friends]

Engle opened up the [skills] tab.

[Would you like to spend your (4) skill points?]

Laz nodded. “You’re a ranger. Your class’s specialty is ranged weaponry.”

“Does this game have rifles?”

“Rifles? Yes, but they’re extremely difficult to use and very situational. No one in their right mind uses them.”

“That’s what I want to use.”

“Well, okay then.” Laz shrugged. “I was going to tell you to put all your points into dexterity anyways. You started with four, right?”

“Right.”

“Then let’s get to an item shop and get you kitted out. Then we’ll meet the rest of my party, and also my guild boss.”

Laz started walking.

Bandrix made a rude gesture with his hand. “Laz. You always steal my guys!”

Laz rolled her eyes. “Oh, come one, Bandrix. No one is ever going to fall for your scam.”

Bandrix grimaced and then walked away.

Laz nodded once. After a few minutes of walking they entered an item shop.

The walls were covered in weapons, armor, and potions. Engle looked around. There were a few modern weapons, but most of the equipment was medieval.

“I have a question.” Engle picked up a rifle, weighing its heft. “If modern weaponry is available, then why don’t people use it?”

“Guns used to be too good, so the devs nerfed them into the ground.”

“Nerf?”

“Debuff. Downgrade. The developers thought that they were too powerful so they made them less powerful.”

“And they overcompensated.”

Laz shrugged. “You tell me.”

Engle picked up another rifle, and instantly knew it was perfect for him. He turned to the shopkeeper. “How much?”

“Ten Elder Coins.”

[Pay 10 EC?]

[Yes]

The gun shimmered with a bright light. It became twice as heavy, about the weight of a real gun. Engle sat down at a bench and tore it down in under a minute.

Laz leaned over his shoulder. “Wow. I never knew the game was this detailed.”

Engle examined the parts. “This is well built.” He reassembled it in forty seconds. “It will work.”

“Nerd.”

 

2

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