The Lesser One Arc 2 Chapter 15: The Office

The Office

Sebastian leads me to a corner room with a conference table in its center. Two walls are filled by windows.

“Hell is a lot more, um, filled with concrete than I imagined.”

“This is a piece of Lawhell.” Sebastian walks up to a projector and turns it on. “If you want a traditional fire and brimstone locale, go to Firehell. I trust you won’t ever do such a stupid thing, however.”

The projector even comes with that “clean filter” sign when it is booting up. Yeah, this is hell all right.

Sebastian checks his watch—which I can see is a very nice Rolex. “We’re early.”

“For what?” I sit down in one of the swivel seats.

Sebastian shakes his head.

“What, did I do something wrong?”

He points to the seat at the top, where the CEO would sit. Or so I presume.

“Um, okay.” I stand up and sit where Sebastian is pointing. The chair is of markedly better quality. “What’s up? Why am I here?”

“You have been here in your dreams.” Sebastian walks to a podium with a computer. He types a few things in and the projector displays a shared screen.

“Hellsoft Brimstone?” I raise an eyebrow. “You guys have your own OS?”

“It runs on Linux.” Sebastian clicks a few more things and a chart appears on the screen. “I may as well fill you in as to your finances before we commence the meeting. It will do you well to know what we, your employees, can and cannot do.”

“You’re my employees?”

“Did you think we were working for you for free?”

“Then … How am I paying you?”

“You may ask our accountant that when you get the chance. In essence about fifty percent of money earned by our organization goes to payroll.”

“Um …” I look around the room. “I really don’t feel like I deserve this.”

Sebastian clicks around on the computer display. “It is thanks to that Dr. Barrimore that we are here. Please, don’t denigrate yourself. Sure, we are contracted to work with you, but we wouldn’t have signed on if we thought you were a weak person.”

The door to the conference room opens and Jirgrar enters the room. He is wearing a nice suit, and takes his jacket off before sitting.

“What did I miss?”

“We were merely talking finances.” Sebastian bows.

“Ah, yes. When Kinley gets here he can fill Markus in with more detail.” He looks at me. “You do know why you’re here, right?”

“Antimatter? Dealing with the Silverbones?”

Jirgrar shakes his head. “No. Human resources.”

“Wait, what?” I frown.

“You do realize that we recently signed on a large number of new workers.”

“Uh, right. I kind of thought you guys were handling it.”

“These are S-class beings, Markus. We are having a lot of difficulty.”

There is a knock at the door.

Jirgrar turns to it. “Come in.”

Two individuals walk in. One is a female devil wearing a nice black suit. The other is a walking tree. I know from Monster Taxonomy that it is a dryad.

The devil bows. “Angic. Director of HR.”

The dryad folds her leafy arms. “HR, this, accountants that. When will you people actually do something worthwhile?” She sits at the end of the table.

Sebastian purses his lips. “We are devils from Lawhell. This is simply how we operate.”

I look at the dryad. “Um, what alignment are you guys?”

The dryad scoffs. “Chaotic good.”

“Oh.” I look at Jirgrar.

He sighs. “And now you know why we called you here. We need to decide on policy regarding the merging of two portals of opposing alignment.” He pauses. “And we can deal with the Silverbones and your antimatter thing afterwards.”

I look at the dryad. “What’s your name?”

“Marphet.” She clearly does not want to be here.

“Do not underestimate her.” Sebastian plugs something into the wall. “She is an S-class being. She could probably kill us all in an instant if she so desired.”

“I’m starting to think about it.” Marphet grimaces. “You devils are too damn stuffy.”

“We’re evil, ma’am.” Sebastian looks a bit plussed.

“That’s not it.” Marphet kicks up her leafy feet.

Sebastian is clearly trying not to chew her out. He rubs his temples. “Feet, ma’am.”

Marphet doesn’t move. “Try me.”

Sebastian sighs, looking at me as if to say please help.

I look at Marphet. “First off. How many of you are there? And are you contracted to me like my devils?”

Angie clears her throat. “You see, I’ve been trying to figure that out. But they have no documentation! No paperwork at all! I tried manually counting them but so many of them are amorphous that my counts were all out of whack!”

Marphet has a smug look on her face. She then winks at me. “Look, Markus. We’re here because of the Bone of Wisdom.”

“That’s the bone sword I used, right?”

“Exactly. You are our prophesied leader. One who will bring great good to the world.”

“I was wondering.” I folded my hands on the table. “Why were you guys attacking Earth? Why do all the portals kill people even if the beings inside are chaotic good in alignment?”

“Eh?” Marphet’s leafy appendages rustle. “I don’t know if anyone’s told you before, but we’re not responsible for anything we do while under the influence of the Fourth Law.”

“Fourth Law?”

Marphet shrugs, and then looks at Sebastian. “Hey, lackey. You look like you’re ready to explode. Why don’t we get started with this meeting so I can explain why I’m here.” She looks at me. “The Fourth Law is a magical mandate that forces all summoned beings to destroy the planes they teleport to. We’re not in control of ourselves when we’re under the influence.” She looks back at Sebastian. “Is that enough?”

Sebastian sighs, and then clicks on a PowerPoint. “We’re here today to brief Mr. Red about the operations of our business and the integration efforts between the two groups of portal beings under his command.” He clicks a slide. It’s full of text and a few infographics.

Marphet leans back in her chair, clearly not paying attention.

Sebastian reads off the slides. “First. The new portal beings who have recently come under Mr. Red’s control are of a totally opposite alignment than us devils. This has caused a lot of trouble within our operations. We are searching for a solution that will suit both camps, as we are united under the command of Mr. Red. Our financial operations are going as expected, but it is getting more and more expensive to host the Wales Portal beings.”

I sit up straight. “I have an idea.”

Sebastian looks at me. “Yes?”

“How about we just let all the Wales Portal beings into the wild and let them do their thing? Like, be superheroes or something. Join adventuring teams. Work in jobs where they get paid for what they do so that they can support themselves?”

Sebastian looks visibly concerned. “You would let your employees work without management?”

Marphet chuckles. “Sounds good to me!”

“I think, instead of trying to clash two opposite alignments, we just let them do their thing. Chaotic good creatures will work best without direct supervision.”

Sebastian rubs his temples again. “Master, I understand the reasoning, but …”

“Look.” I shrug. “The two portals are incompatible. The best thing to do would just be to live and let live.”

Sebastian sighs. “I suppose this is why we follow you. All right. Angic?”

“I’ll get the paperwork filed.” Angic is clearly nonplussed. “I also think that we should assign a being from the Wales Portal to Markus, in the same capacity as Aahlia.”

I pause for a second. Right. Aahlia is Sebastian’s real name.

Marphet raises her hand. “Oh! I have the perfect person for the job!”

Angic looks like she’s trying very hard to look professional. “And they would be?”

“An elf named Chris. She’s a young and feisty one but she’ll be able to protect Markus anywhere he goes.”

I clap my hands. “Now that that’s settled.” I look at Marphet. “Tell me more. I want to know why portal beings attack Earth and kill people.”

Marphet frowns. “Eh? I have no idea. The Fourth Law is as mysterious as the portals themselves.”

I sigh.

Sebastian clicks the slide. “Next on the agenda. The negotiations with the Dark Silverbones.”

I clap my hands together. “Finally!”

“We have agents who have been surveilling the Dark Silverbones. They are indeed a powerful organization.”

Jirgrar takes out a stack of papers and straightens them on the table. “I believe that your plan is flawed in several ways.” He takes out a sheet. “First off. There is no guarantee that all the Dark Silverbones will be in the same place at the same time.” He passes copies of another sheet around the table. “Second. Some of the Dark Silverbones have teleportation powers. Thus, if they were to be faced with an antimatter explosion, there is a possibility that they could teleport away. Third. It will be difficult to maintain a proxy of you for the trade with enough distance to avoid being caught in the explosion. Any questions?”

I bite my lip. “Then is the plan canceled?”

“Unless you can find a better way to implement it.”

Marphet raises an eyebrow. “I believe I can fix one of those problems. I can call up a few other beings who can get the Silverbones in the same place. As long as you time the explosion right, you’ll be in the clear.”

I sit back in my chair. “Still. It’s a long shot, isn’t it?”

The room is silent.

“We can only try.” Sebastian turns off the projector. “In the end, we may have to declare all out war with them.”

Marphet sits up and leaves her seat. “Well then. If that’s everything, I’ll go and tell my compatriots the news.” She exits the room.

I look at Jirgrar, who is picking his nails with a pen. He looks up at me with a raised eyebrow. “You could just swallow your pride and join them.”

“Out of the question.”

“We may be able to get them all in the same place if you pretend to join them and figure out a way to get them there.”

“Marphet said—”

Jirgrar cuts me off. “She may not be able to. We don’t know. It will be better to have several ways to pull this off.”

I frown and think for a moment. “Okay. I’ll talk to Mandrake about this and if he gives his OK then I’ll go forward with the plan.”

There is a knock at the door.

Jirgrar turns to it. “Come in.”

A strikingly beautiful elf woman walks into the room. Her hair is pure white, and her eyes are purple. Her nose is upturned slightly in an elfish way and her ears poke out from her head. She is wearing traditional clothing made of light cloth, as well as several pieces of leather armor.

Sebastian looks at her and frowns. “Chris, I presume?”

Chris flips her hair. “Of course.”

Sebastian sighs. “Please, choose a more appropriate outfit before you begin your assignment. You will stand out like a sore thumb with that garb.”

Chris’s gaze is icy. Her face is almost expressionless, showing only a bit of intelligent observation. Her eyes dig deep into my soul. “If you say so.”

Sebastian grimaces. “I would not go so far as to dictate a woman’s fashion, but please, choose something inconspicuous.”

Chris snaps her fingers and her outfit changes instantly. She is now wearing normal clothing—I can’t really tell you exactly what, but it’s pretty and it doesn’t stand out. I’m a fashion-less boy, after all. She surveys me with her cold eyes. “You are the one who holds the Bone of Wisdom. Thus, I must obey your commands.”

I extend my hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Chris stares at my hand. Seeming to realize something, she shakes it after an awkward ten seconds. Her hand is cold.